I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
