We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
