very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
