umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Vodka?
Forever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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