I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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