Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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