my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
operation harelip BJ is a go
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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