Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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