you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
