If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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