Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to fling myself into the sun
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