just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
