afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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