Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
