im about as happy as oj after his trial
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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