His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
