my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
