this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
