Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
