Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize