that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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