D3 body, D1 cock
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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