Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
