Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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