I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
