If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
