I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
