so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
