Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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