Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Congratulations! We have a period
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
