i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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