So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
