if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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