good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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