It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
