my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
