dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
