I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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