i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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