He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize