Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
