I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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