I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize