just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize