i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
