i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
