it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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