If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do herpes really smell.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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