My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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