Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
