i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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