It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i now understand why vodka
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I deserve this hangover.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
